~Faith is just believing.~

~I opened my eyes this morning, and one word popped into my mind: "Faith."~


I have been struggling with my purpose in this world.  I was feeling like a failure as a mother just because my kids are having some tough problems.  Also, my kids are about all grown, so I haven't had a clue about what the next 20-40 years of my life holds.  I thought, "There was a reason I was born."  I thought how I didn't feel it, but I knew it had to be true logically.  Then, "Faith is just believing," popped into my head.


I got up and went downstairs to do something I haven't done in a very long time:  I got down on my knees, all alone, and prayed first thing in the morning.  I prayed that my family and myself would wear the full Armor of God as in Ephesians 6:10-17.


I made coffee and picked up my Bible study.*  The study for today was on Faith.  The Shield of Faith is a word that describes a large shield about 4 feet X 2-1/2 feet that was coated with a fire-extinguishing compound.  Apparently, the Roman soldiers knew how to use those well in battle.


I have made a LOT of mistakes in my life.  I've let the devil, the enemy, tell me that if I missed too much time helping in various ministries, due to illness, then maybe I shouldn't do them anymore, because folks are depending on me.  When I'm absent, I'm letting them down.  Yes, I need to be there when I volunteer, but I cannot help the physical problems that have popped up recently in my life, including ulcers in my intestines caused by my prescription, arthritis, anti-inflammatory medicine.  I cannot help it, when I get the flu.  But, Satan, the enemy, knows I feel guilty about it anyway, and boy does he use that to get me doubting, to make me afraid I'm failing - to get me to lower my Shield of Faith.


I've made some terrible mistakes in my life - in my Christian walk.  I have hurt people.  Yes, I'm fully repentant of what I've done, and I've asked for their forgiveness.  But, still, I've felt so ashamed that I've been drawing into my "shell" and thought maybe I shouldn't volunteer with kids, because, well, I'm not a good example for them.  That was the enemy telling me that.  Not God.  When God forgives, it's absolute forgiveness.  The enemy wanted me to put down my Shield of Faith that I've been forgiven by God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, and I am absolved of my sins - each and every one of them.


God doesn't say, "Only Perfect People Need Apply".  Thank Him!  Because, I'm NOT "perfect people"!  I just have to keep going and keep my shield up.  I have to not let doubt and guilt plague me.  I have to have Faith.


"Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. Stand, therefore,  with truth like a belt around your waist, 
righteousness like armor on your chest, 
and your feet sandaled with readiness 
for the gospel of peace. 
In every situation take the shield of faith, 
and with it you will be able to extinguish 
all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 
Take the helmet of salvation, 
and the sword of the Spirit, 
which is God’s word."


-Ephesians 6:10-17 HCSB**


*Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself:  Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit
**www.biblegateway.com